This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
