is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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