What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
