Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize