Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
