how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
