So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
