I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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