i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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