His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
