In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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