Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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