Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
