so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize