He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just sucked dick on a ferry
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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