I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
