plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize