I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
