i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
