i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am naked and annoyed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
