hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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