Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
