Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
