and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
