We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
