So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i think i just lost a toe
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
