drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
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the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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