I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
