i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
