Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
