That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
