The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
