the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
