Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
