Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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