He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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