So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
