Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
