Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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