idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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