I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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