Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
