haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize