Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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