New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
