I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
