i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
