The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
