Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Houston, we have a squirter
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
