I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it's like heaven, but drunker
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
