Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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