adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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