I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
