Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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