jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize