oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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