After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize