Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
