She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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