Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
