I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
