we're chasing vodka with high fives
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
