Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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