hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
